My Visit to Poland (Cracow) in early April, 2006 - and news of my Son's Case

 
This picture shows me enjoying my brief visit to Cracow (Krakow) on the last day of my 4-day trip, on April 10th 2006. It was taken by one of my fellow guests, just before we got on the coach to return to the airport. I was staying at the luxurious Novotel Centrum, which appears in the background; I am shown standing by the River Vistula. I felt relaxed and happy, but tired, after a good 3-4 days away from the pressures of my home life, and a very difficult winter. For me the high point of the trip was our moving 1-day visit to the concentration camps at Auschwitz and Birkenau, where so many people were killed in the second World War. I am not myself Jewish, but knew a Jewish couple (now long deceased) who had lost relatives there. Many Poles, Gypsies and Christians, plus political prisoners and criminals also died there. It makes my own personal sorrows and losses pale into almost an insignificance. (I did lose my daughter Alice, 6 years ago, in a road crash, where she was a passenger: no-one's deliberate fault.)

Today there is news of my son Tom, who has been in prison since early March, awaiting psychiatric reports (after his breach of probation by going on a serious drink "bender") - due to be heard in court today. His case duly came to court, but had to be adjourned for yet another 6 weeks, as the court had made no official order for the forensic psychiatrists to gain access to Tom inside his prison. To me, this is bureaucracy "gone mad". Tom has just been passing time in there (6 weeks already), but he does look much better now. He has had a little therapy - going to AA, and seeing an alcohol counsellor. We were able to visit him (for the first time, on this occasion) inside a week ago; he said he needed to come out of jail to get access to real treatment. This time the order was issued by the court, so when we reconvene there on June 5th, a decision will be made on Tom's treatment. We are hoping that they will recommend that he is freed, with a renewed probation order, and with stricter provisions, including a treatment order. This is necessary to stop him drinking again. He has insight into his condition, but his problems are complex, and if one thing goes wrong for him, he is at risk of drinking again. This is despite his knowing well all the dangers he faces from his drinking, which gets totally out of control (if he starts). This includes risks to his own safety, apart from the risk of him offending again.

In the news locally (in Richmond, Surrey), a long-term, homeless drunk was found a few days ago, having been beaten almost to death. He had lost an eye, as the thugs who set on him kicked him so heavily in the face. The victim was not found till the next morning. Richmond is supposed to be a good neighbourhood, but there is a dark side to its night-life. Heaven forbid that anything like that should happen to Tom: he was beaten up by so-called friends when he was 21, en ended in hospital witha head injury. He was traumatised; it inevitably led him to end those friendships and have to start again. This affected him in later life (he had PTSD) and affected his mental state for years afterwards. He became more angry and paranoid as a result of it, which links in with his present problems (re. drinking and anger). He turned to Christianity for help, and made new contacts there but this did not cure him, as we have seen. Tom needs deep therapy, and rehabilitation for his alcohol abuse.

I will end here, as I am going to Al-Anon tonight, and will be driving over there; it really helps me to stay calm and to cope. I am now doing many local drives in our car, under my own steam - on my own (since last November)! I am getting more confident, and finished my lessons in March. I have also recently been making entries about myself (various aspects such as my family, childhood, past history, my work, beliefs, my partner, friends, holidays and travel, interests, etc.) to a UK website called "Posterity" which leaves one's personal 'Autobiography' or life story behind on the web for one's descendants (family and friends) to read all about you. I like the idea of this; it seems your memory will thus live for ever online. You can post photographs there - I've put up some of me, my family and things I like, such as cats and tigers. You can opt to keep it private, but then no-one else could read it unless they had your password. You can also go 'public', which I have. I have done it under my real name. This is why I have been doing this blog rather less often. But I shall keep you informed about how it goes with Tom. Also on my travels - soon D. and I are going on a day trip to Paris, on May 4th on 'Eurostar' channel tunnel train. That is something for us both to enjoy. D. has not been abroad for 10 eyars, unlike me (I try to go once a year). He needs to strike out. I am thinking seriously of going back to India next year to see its tigers again - I've not booked yet, but have found a trip I really would like to do (to the famous Corbett National Park near the Himalayas, and back to Kanha Reserve in Madhya Pradesh, where I went before.) That is health permitting, of course - I shall be 63 at the end of May.

Love and peace to all - Tigey