Coming to Terms - and making new plans

Hello again.

It is only a week since my son Tom was recommitted to custody (after his 8-day drink bingeing session and breaking his probation order), and things are now quieter here. It was only today that I found out which London prison he is being held in. At the Court they were not sure which of 2 "nicks" he would be sent to. We had to wait for a phone call from him or a warder - but none came. After a few days of this, I decided to chase it up myself. Trying to ring one of the prisons was hopeless - the prisons will not by law disclose any prisoner info to inquirers, whoever they are. They gave me a number I could phone, which it turned out you had to write to! This takes too long - by that time he may well have rung us.

I then tried his recent probation officer but she did not reply - Tom is no longer on her books I guess. The best bet was his Solicitors - I rang their office and they said they were in the process of finding out (as lawyers are entitled to this knowledge). Then half an hour later they rang me again, with the info I wanted. He is back in Wandsworth 'nick', with a new prison number. I sat and wrote him a letter, but will have to buy a postal order to send him (I know the score from before). I had to be careful whaat I dsaid - ew still feel hurt by his behaviour, but also realise he could hardly help himself. I am still clearing up his mess, slowly. One thing we will do soon is have our back fence rebuilt (he broke it).

I have also been pursuing getting his rehoused, away from us. He is entitled to council housing (rent is paid for as he cannot work) - and the form was submitted 10 days ago. A letter came addressed to him, but I opened it (as he is not here to do the business). This says he already has gained points towards it, and will get more when they have assessed the welfare and medical forms. He will then be at the level to qualify to be rehoused, I think. He has to have a visit, but this can only be when he is out of jail. I had to send the Council a formal "notice" letter for him asking him to quit this house. He has not yet received it, but I will tell him it has been written, when we see him. He already knows that we wanted him to move on - and accepted this; he is 30 now, and knows he should really be living independently of his parents. Even when this happens, we wil still get involved in his drinking bouts (almost inevitably it will happen again - alcoholism is incurable, unles the drinker abstains forever) - as the hospital will phone us whenever he is bought in there again. We are his next of kin and would automatically be phoned.

Menawhile, we have a fairly calm, quiet period until April 21st when our life goes on uninterrupted. D. (my husband) is very depressed again about Tom, but I am now serene. In early April I have a short holiday already booked - to return to Krakow in Poland for a city tour. I will go on a package trip, which will enable me to visit many parts of the city. I had a short visit there early last September, but just saw the Wawel Castle area, on the way home from a holiday in the countryside. It will include an optional visit to Auschwitz - I am determined to see it, as this Nazi camp site is so significant: a terrible place with an awful beauty (as I've seen on documentaries on TV). Heaven knows how I shall react to being there. I am not Jewish, but have great sympathy for people who had relatives there and in the other concentration camps. I once knew were 2 Jewish refugees (now long died), a couple who were family friends and lived with my parents for a while when I was only 2-3, just after World War Two. My late father was a bomber pilot and flying hero in that war. He won the DFC for bravery on a bombing mission where he was shot down, and escaped through enemy occupied territory - he wrote a book about it, now long out of print. One of my sisters has just done a private republication of this book (there are spare copies). There is another unpublished manuscript by my father - Denis Hornsey DFC - in the Imperial War Museum, London, in a historal archive related to the second world war.

How on earth did I get on to that topic? There could be many people out there who might be interested in my father's book and exploits. He is mentioned several times in a book (1980) about the last war by the English author and journalist, Max Hastings - he drew upon my Dad's war diary for info. on 76 Squadron (bombers) of the RAF - and how the pilots felt when going out on air raids over Germany and occupied Europe. I may come back to this ina future blog - and any comments would be welcome.

Now I am signing off to help get our meal and watch the evening's TV. I am teaching tomorrow - I must not overdo it. Best regards to anyone who is reading this...

Love and peace in these troubled times, Tigey