Guest of HMP Service in London - he's Inside

Hello again.

This won't be too long, but I will add to it later (see below). For the last 2 days, Tom has been a remand prisoner at the old Wormwood Scrubs prison, West London, not far from here. Ten days ago he was remanded on bail awaiting reappearance at court for a sentence on his 30th birthday in late October. (What luck!) This arrangement did not last for long. This was because he was too upset and unstable to keep to his bail conditions. These were: he was to remain at home from 7 pm to 7 am, and not enter a place selling alcoholic drink, nor to be found drunk in a public place. He also had to reside at our address, where he was living already.

We welcomed him back home after he was bailed at his original court hearing, after his main offence (also committed while drunk - see previous blog). Although relieved to be home, even that afternoon he was unhappy and anxious - fearful whether his life would ever get back on track. He was afraid of being sentenced to jail later on. That evening we had to consult the 'out of hours' Helpline for mentally disturbed poeple - that calmed it down for a while. The next day he became much more disturbed - we were not able to restrain him from going off to drink. He had told us he was going to AA - but this was a ploy. He planned to drink shortly after he left the house, despite the court ruling that he should not buy alcohol.

He was arrested again for being drunk in public, held in a police cell and then tried for this on Saturday mprning. The Court was again lenient, and released him home under the same conditions. D. and I were concerned as to whether he could now keep to this, but agreed to have him back. Even that afternoon he was so agitated that we had to call an ambulance - took him to hospital A & E, where the doctor gave him tranquillisers to help with his detox. He was not readmitted to his former mental hospital - the hosppitals are reluctant to ahve him in their care now. I hoped the "tranx" would help, but was soon proved wrong. On Sunday, after I'd gone up to my church in Central London, he again "freaked out" and only D. was there. D. called the emergency services - they came and calmed things down again. Two hours or so later I was phoned again by D. asking me to come home, as things were tense again.

Tom was disturbed again, so D. had asked me to make haste home to help him. I finished my lunch, but then it took me over an hour to get back to the suburbs from Central London. Shortly after I got back, Tom (who'd calmed down meanwhile) walked purposefully out of the house. I warned him of his bail conditions - ie. being found drunk in public, or even going into premises selling alcohol. We were also afraid he was suicidal, so we rang the police for that reason. He then returned home - very drunk, but we could not call the police to "shop" him. We just let them know he was safe. We then had a really bad night with Tom - at about 3 am he began walking around, asking us for more tranx. I said he'd had enough of this, but that he could take some of his regular medication. I could not get back to sleep for 3 hours.

While I was asleep, he somehow found a large bottle of cider he had hidden - he had also broken down part of our back fence, maybe to get at his hidden booze. He was now drunk and chanting aloud the same phrase over again. I heard it, woke up and was immediately confronted by this. We told him this was too much for us to take - he soon walked out of the house - was reported by us then to the police (for his own sake and safety). He was arrested - after being taken to A & E again as he had collapsed in the street. Later that night he was charged. I had to go to the police station again for 2-3 hours as "appropriate adult". Then next day were at court again. This time we refused to have him back with us - we'd just had enough. We had to have some space - our own health was at risk. Therefore, he was sent straight into custody - as he'd now breached his bail conditions twice.

We were very uneasy at our decision - after all he might be victimised in jail; he is vulnerable. Yet he would be on special watch because of his mental state... We had a phone call from him yesterday. He was OK so far. We were (earlier today) about to go to visit him for the first time, and take him in some confectionery - nothing else. We hope Tom is bearing up inside - and will be able to offer his literary skills to help others less educated than himself- this may get him 1-2 friends. [Since writing this we have visited him.]

Added this evening (7 pm): We went to see Tom this afternoon. The journey there was easy, but car-parking terrible. We then had a long "rigmarole" to get inside the prison to visit, as although we had been booked in over the phone, the gate-keeper hd no record of us nor of Tom (as a "reception" inmate). I had to convince him we had been requested to come. He checked this - we then had our thumbprints taken ; plus photos, a fter I'd filled in a form. I'd already checked that we needed 2 forms of ID, and not to bring in anything sharp. I had actually visited a prison twice before, with students, in my role as a criminology lecturer! (That was Belmarsh, London's high security prison where terrorists are now held in the inner Grade A security block!) The procedure this time was different - we had to go to a visitor centre and lock up all our personal stuff except for a limited amount of cash to buy Tom cake, sweets or soft drink at the prison shop on the way in. D. didn't put enough money on the parking meter, so he had to leave before it was possible to go in to see Tom. Thus I had to go and see him alone - D. stayed with the car and read the paper. We were thus delayed and had to drive home in the rush hour.

So how was Tom? Not so bad as we had expected. He was now in the detox wing, sharing a cell with a young foreign guy who speaks little English. This man gives Tom no trouble. He will be put in with the other inmates next week. There was a TV in the cell; he had a proper bed, and a lavatory/toilet plus washbasin with no door - hence no privacy for vital functions! He had the few books I'd passed him while he was in the police station. They allowed him writing materials. He looked rather bewildered, and was sweating - this was from the detox process. He could not drink the coca cola I'd bought him, as this would overstimulate him. Next time I'll get a soft drink. He asked me if I thought he could get by in there for the next few weeks (and he had done, so far). I said "Yes", so long as no-one bullied him, and he's treated well by staff. I explained that we could no longer have him home on bail, as he'd been on a roll of drinking and uncontrolled behaviour (the hospital was not an option any more). He is already used to limited freedom, from his recent rehab and hospital experiences. He seemed fairly calm, though affected by his detox. He was not suicidal - but quite worried about what would happen. He had done yoga yesterday - this had obviously helped. He'd avoided chanting "om" as he is a practising Christian ("om" is from Hinduism): I suggested he could think "Jesus".

I promised to send him money order and a "good wishes" card with family photos (and some of our late cat) - I was not allowed to give them to him directly. He'd not yet had a bath or shower, but looked neater than before, in a grey tracksuit and black shiny shoes. He may get a haircut - this would make him less conspicuous, in a place where all the other residents seem to have short hair. There are not many with beards either, but he may keep that. We will go again in about 4 days. In the meantime, we also must visit D's Stepfather E. who is still in hospital: we had not been able to get to see him, with all this happening. We will go this Saturday. I have church again on Sunday, which is also a busy day for prison visits. Weekdays are easier to book (you have to ring the prison in office hours to book a visit. He's allowed 3 half hour visits a week now, as a remand prisoner. I think he could also have his own clothes sent in).

I have now got back to the cat rescue services about getting 2 young cats to replace dear old Whitton - we need something good and comforting to look forward to. The neighbour's cat Jack is still visiting our garden looking for Whitton. D. and I have had some comfort from stroking him, when we have made it into the garden. I've been to Al Anon and a relaxation class for local carers - this made me feel a lot better. Al Anon members often go through similar troubles: there are 2 I know with sons or daughters in prison due to drink. Some in AA & Al Anon have been "inside", themselves. I am relieved that I have not been doing my lecturing job over this time - I am doing less now. My husband D. finds this all very hard, but at last I am getting back to almost normal till the end of this month (when Tom is sentenced). That will be "50-50" - it's best not to worry about it.

That's all for now. I will keep posting news on this. Thanks for reading my story.

Love - Tigey