Personal and Political - a month after London Bombings

Hello again.

This is being written on a Thursday evening a month a fter the original terror attcks we had in London on July 7th. Today our London police have been out in force, guarding railway stations, trains and bus links, and the Picadilly tube line (severely bombed on 7/7) has reopened. I have used the urban transport system a little since those dates (also 21/7) - I use the tube for a short journey on Tuesdays when I go to our church house in London for a meeting plus meal. Last Tuesday I used the tube from Waterloo to Oxford Circus (Bakerloo line) and found it very quiet - i.e. few people on it: so people are staying away if they can avoid it. When I got off at Oxford Circus there were 8 burly cops standing at the top of the stairs - it made me feel quite strange and nervous. Even at our home overground station, there were 3 police outside the entrance. It's sign of the times - but we know the police cannot keep up quite this level of visible presence on our transport at all times, as they must soon return to dealing with other crimes. I cannot help looking at other passengers to see if they look suspicious - not usually women, and I have to say, not usually caucasian - but I try not to be prejudiced. If they are a young non-white man with a rucksack I do feel slightly fearful; I have to overcome this. (There is indeed a possiblity that a white man could also be a convert to radical Islam, though such cases have been rare: women are not suspect - yet.)

Now I can report more on how Tom is getting on in his alcohol rehab - he is doing well in general, having been there for 6 weeks now. He is well over the probationary period which was 4 weeks. When we visited nearly 2 weeks ago we found he had injured his left hand in an angry outburst, which was disturbing - it caused us some anxiety, and I did lie awake worrying one night. He was in a better mental state when we saw him, and said he had moved on. We have spoken on the phone a few times since and he's still positive, looking forward to having days out at weekends - we took him out ourselves to the Ashdown Forest, on our last visit. I have ordered him some travel maps via the 'web', so he could go for excursions from the rehab (in Kent) and explore South Coast. He also wants to go up to Wales, in the Brecon Beacons (near Swansea where he was at university) - this is quite ambitious - for a hill walking weekend in the future, when he can go out for 2 nights. He has to be in the rehab during the week, doing their programme. He seems to be making it for the long haul, so I can now be fairly confident I can go away to Poland at the end of this month. The trip is booked and paid for - it begins with a flight from Gatwick to Poland; then going with a group to a forest and mountain region near Krakow. I have found out how to get to Gatwick from here - there is a train called the Gatwick Express - I just hope it runs OK on the day, without incidents...

Meanwhile, I've started doing another things for self-help. (I know I should rely on my faith in God, and church support, but need the focus on alcohol related issues.) I have started going to Al-Anon, which is for relatives or friends of alcohol users, including those in AA - like Tom. Al-Anon does a 12-step programme too, just like AA - and sells advice books like "Courage to Change" (there are various titles). I have found two local meetings I can get to - one on a Wednesday morning, which is small, and nearly all women; the other larger group is on Friday evenings, has 15-20 members and includes more men. I have been to 3 meetings so far - so am just getting into it. They focus on a reading from one of their books - these are written for every day of the year in "Courage to Change", on topics like balance, anger, sadness or judgement. (I bought that title.) It is amazing how some of what is read or discussed put things into perspective. Some attendees come from families of alcoholics, which fortunately I have not - only a distant relative by marriage was alcoholic. It only became truly part of my life when Tom got into drinking when aged 20-21, after earlier (as a teenager) having drug misuse tendencies. He switched over to the legal drug when he could, and other drug abuse gradually tailed off (he smokes cannabis very occasionally, but he has also used "poppers" inappropriately).

Al Anon. like AA promotes belief in a Higher Power (the God of your own understanding) - which suits me well, as a Christian - I have taken up the slogan "Let go and let God" - which means I should not strive to sort everything out myself, but wait for things to come along in their own or God's time. This does not mean "never plan anything", but at least I do not have to "cross every bridge before I get to it". D. does this worse than I do, but it can be a problem for me. Also the classic AA slogan, "one day at a time" is good - I was given this by a friend (who worked as an alcohol counsellor) when we lost our daughter in 2000. It is also helpful in dealing with the effects of bereavement; so is the AA and Al-Anon "Serenity Prayer", which talks about the serenity to accept the things you cannot change (etc.). I think this is a good policy for those Londoners who have to use the transport system during this tense time, and for those who have lost people int he bombings. I know people who were caught up in the incidents like I was (on 21/7), but were not hurt. There have been a few security scares since then - one was Tuesday last, when I was at Waterloo and then on the tube - a red double-decker bus had caught fire: some passengers thought it was a bomb and jumped off the top deck. That was a mistake - the engine was smoking, but no bomb...

Well that's it again - I must cook a meal for D. and me. Tomorrow I go to the bigger, evening Al-Anon meeting, which will be different again. I've just had a jab today for tick-borne fever, for my trip to Poland. I found the other jabs I had for going to India covered me for anything else I might catch out there. In October it will be time for a flu jab, as we are already aware of the risk of Asian bird flu.

Goodbye to all - hope to blog again soon and put up 1-2 pictures of my trip to Scotland, which produced lovely views of the Southern Uplands and Pentland Hills.

Love, God bless - and if possible, peace - Tigey.