Easter: Things quiet now: Son leaves hospital to start again - plus film/TV fantasy, and the JF Church

Hello again!

Tom came out of hospital earlier today. He's now settled back in and watched half of the last part of 'The Lord of The Rings' on video - he's a great fan, and we have all three parts on Video (we have no DVD yet). I mended his bed blanket for him, and sat in the living room while he watched it - I also enjoyed this film series in the cinema! It really gets one out of oneself to watch high fantasy. Recently in UK, the classic sci-fi Tv serial Doctor Who has started again - I used to love it, and Tom and his late sister Alice enjoyed it as kids, but also hide behind the sofa at the scary bits. This new version's good - I like the combination of the traditonal tardis effects and the latest film techniques (as in The Terminator, etc.). My senior brother-in-law, G., is a "Whovian" (is that the right name?) and has stayed loyal to the series: he has memorabilia, old mags and Tardis models etc. Tom was into Star Wars as a teenager and had the models - he still enjoys it and has his old model Milennium Falcon, but we gave all but one of the figures away (I think the remaining one is Lando?) to some young kid. He's now 29-plus and takes a more mature view. We are set to see the latest and final film when it comes out - I read about it in Empire film mag while with our cat at the Vet's - it sounds good.

Now - as to Tom. He came out this afternoon; all his stuff is back apart from a pillow that disappeared. He got a bit flaky just now, as he could not get his father to understand fully where the AA meeting is they are driving off to; D. (my husband, Tom's Dad) also gets nervous, as the roads are all messed up with roadworks and one way systems, and he is not sure where the place is (though only a mile away). I have to tell them both to calm down. I am concerned about Tom - will he survive this time? He now also wants to pursue attending another charitable organisation, "SAA" which is about sexual problems. I will not specify Tom's problem, only to say it is not illegal, and no threat to anyone except himself. He has also dabbled in taking "poppers" when he's into this (ie. amyl nitrite). He would rather not be into sexual things. He tried going to SAA in London once before, but was too obsessed with the actual acitvity to get into the therapy system (12 steps also) that they offer. Now he wants to try again, and also go to a therapeutic clinic, the Portman Clinic (London) - part of the famous Tavistock Clinic I think: his hospital psychiatrist suggested it.

The main problem is that as a born-again Christian, he believes (and rightly so) that any sex outside marriage is wrong; if he slips in this respect, he is committing a sin - then he feels guilty - and then obliterates this guilt with excessive drinking. Other things also make him drink, such as depression and low self- esteem. (As a Christian I now believe that many things I did before I got married at 22 were sinful, but God forgives us. I was not a true believer then but a humanist and 1960s UK student radical: in youth culture I was a "mod" and later "hippy"; as part of all those scenes, I slept around for nearly 3 years while at university. Confession over!!)

I will soon have to stop and get some evening dinner on for D. and myself. I had a good and uplifting Easter attending (for 2 of its 4 days) our church's "Alive" festival in the rolling countryside near Northampton - at Cornhill Manor, where the sheep and new, tiny lambs were huddling under the trees, as it was damp. But I got a few photos of them. (It's in an English shire - a lot like Middle Earth!) The festival was inside a huge marquee our church has: with lively, moving or powerful Christian rock songs on stage, plus prayer, dramatisations, etc. I shot 1-2 short films on my digital camera and showed them to Tom today. I've already had the photos back from an instant photo machine at Jessops' shop. Our major London House of the JF church is moving into a super old new building, at 82 Margaret Street, London, W1 (near Oxford Circus). It used to be a High Anglican convent, which did a lot for the poor and ran a school.

The poet Christina Rosetti's sister was a nun there - the altar piece in the chapel, which is listed, is by a Pre-Raphelite and truly beautiful. Could it be by the artist Rossetti himself? Am not sure. The ceiling is painted blue with gold embossed stars. I took some photos for my own album: officially pictures of the building will be appearing on the Jesus Fellowship website, www.jesus.org.uk (I think). It will be known as the London Jesus Centre. Our household there will retain the name "Battle Centre", I just learned last night at our "agape" meal and meeting. Lots of other names were toyed with: New Heights, All Saints (the original name of the convent) and Peaceful Haven - but none were right: they sounded like housing estates, and Anglican church or nursing homes! We are all glad to keep our strong identity as "BC" - fighting for God and Jesus in the sinful, impoverished city. Our old church community house in Acton, W. London, will be taken over by "Spreading Flame", its sister household, and the SF houses are now being sold. I myself made a meaningful donation from money inherited towards the cost of buying the Margaret Steet, W1, (BC) house.

D. has just come back - he's stressed out and says they had an argument about finding the AA place (see above). I hope Tom is OK. D. says he is collecting him afterwards. I just hope Tom will keep it together as he was trying to. Both of them are so flaky, but Tom's condition is much more serious. Dave will not go off into alcoholism, though he likes a regular tot of scotch whisky, as do I. I must sign off now and get our hot meal, and switch off from the virtual world! Have been enjoying listening to the background music from LOTR film (see above) as I write this: it's wonderful and very stirring! That's all for now - will write again in a week or two. (I like classical, rock and jazz/blues music,as well as Christian rock and church music - will write on all that one day.)

Easter greetings (late), best wishes, bless you and peace -
Love from Tigey.