All falls apart - he's kicked out of Alcohol Rehab.

Hello readers...

After my last two optimistic postings, our life has all gone sour again, fallen apart or gone pear-shaped... My son Tom got kicked out of his new alcohol therapy Rehab placement today, after only 10 days. It had all seemed to be going so well!

It seems he had a dispute with another client - he had not been drinking, and until today had been keeping to the rules, and co-operating. But he has an anger problem, which, if it flares up, makes him violent (though he does not usually directly attack people). He threw 2 dining-room chairs, after storming out of a group therapy session. Another resident had "wound him up" two days ago - over a dispute about sexual conduct. Tom is a radical Christian who disapproves of sexual excess or pornography - but he admits to having some difficulties in that area. The other young man, a West Indian (or African Caribbean), and by his looks apparently a Rastafarian too - said he believed that people should be free to experiment with sex, "put it about" and use pornography. Tom had strongly disagreed.

Their argument was partially settled on Saturday - he had not told us about it when we met him for a good walk by the River Thames in London: it seemed they had agreed to differ. But today it all flared up in the therapy group - Tom thought it had not been resolved; he still bore resentments, and said so. The group did not sympathise - they all reacted as if he was stupid or small (or so he said, as he saw it) - and the group leader did nothing to settle the issue to Tom's satisfaction. He thought the leader took the other man's part more. The guy had said "I apologise", but Tom thought he did not mean it. The others seemed to feel Tom was being small-minded. Then he had "lost it". We next heard he was already in a taxi cab on the way home with all his stuff, plus the money we had left for him. Was he in the right - or was he being over-touchy and paranoid? We can't say for certain, as we were not there.

Once again, we have to help Tom to pick up the pieces. I immediately rang his Social Worker, Bryan C. - he said that there could well be a place for Tom at another house which he had visited last Autumn in our local area. This is much nearer, and is based on mental health therapy - not alcohol/drug abuse. They can tolerate a degree of violent conduct there - or at least, contain it. So this prospect is still quite promising. I told Tom, in order to keep his spirits up and his hopes alive. His Social Worker will see him tomorrow to review things.

But unfortunately Tom became nervous, agitated and unstable late this afternoon, so we phoned up about readmitting him to the mental hospital acute ward wher he'd been before. He would need to see a doctor at the main hospital again, to get back there. Then a bit later Tom said he was feeling calmer, so we decided this would not be necessary. I however had already cancelled my evening class, due tonight. I was feeling too shocked and shaken anyway to go ahead with it; I would have done if things had remained calm in between - but it all had too much of a yo-yo effect. I felt awful and could not take any more. I had to take half a tranquilliser myself.

On top of all this, our old cat Whitton now has defective kidneys, and has to be on a special diet; he now must have a steroid injection each month. He may not be here much longer, but this treatment will improve and extend his last few months. He may make it to 18 - he is now 17 and nealy 4 months. That too was very sad news at first - but we are now living with it. Animals have short lives anyway. My husband, D., is very fond of him; so is Tom - Whitton prefers them to me! At least it means Tom is now back home and seeing more of the old puss again. We are praying for God's grace and help in our troubles - and Tom is much calmer as I write. He has to come to terms with what has happened today - he was getting a lot better mentally beforehand. Please sympathise with us - and pray for Tom's recovery, if you have a faith...

All the best again - and thanks for reading our story,
Love, Tigey