Quickly - an update on Son's Mental State, Birthday & Court Case

Hi again.

My son Tom was briefly out of hospital over the last weekend - for 3 days. It would have been 4, but he was not so well once he was out, and it seemed better for him to go back a day early. Also, he needed to be seen by a doctor in the Ward as he is due for a court case in 2 days' time. We wondered if he was fit to go to court, but were advised that he was well enough - though depressed (and even suicidal for a while yesterday morning). In some ways it is better to get the trial over and done with - it has already been deferred once. He was due to go before "the beaks" (magistrates) about a month ago. At that time he was still recovering from his drinking binge and was much worse than now.

On Friday we went to a wedding of two people in our church - this was a happy occasion, not too formal - and Tom seemed to enjoy that. There no pressure, and the food was excellent. As a church occasion, there was no alcohol, except a bit in the wedding cake, which he avoided. I took some photos of the bridal couple, plus some more when they had their blessing in church on Sunday morning. Their actual wedding ceremony was in a register office. As an unofficial church photographer, I am sometimes in the position of being like a "paparazzo" - getting in close, and hopefully not being too obtrusive. My pictures often appear in our church magazines and newsletters.

Tom went to 3 meetings of AA - Alcoholics Anonymous - over the weekend: that too went OK for him. He found the arguments against drinking were helpful and acceptable. But he was very quiet at home, and did not play his music CDs or guitar much. He had to come back from all three AA meetings in the rain. On Sunday morning it was evident that he was quite distressed during the church meeting, and I had to give him emergency prayer - he said he felt condemned (in God's eyes) and suicidal. (I also received good, powerful prayer from sisters at the church, during the evening.) Other brothers joined in praying and supporting him. He rested at the church household in the afternoon, while I had fellowship with some of the sisters, and the evening meeting was better for him. He was with several brothers near the front, and they were very supportive. He was singing and dancing a bit, almost like his old self. But this lasted only while he was actually there. In the morning (today) Tom went down again - so we decided he should go back to hospital a day early. My husband does not join in the church worship meetings - he comes along to bring us home at the end (he is not a believer, though friendly with people there); he does sometimes go to social events - weddings or evening meals.

So although it is Tom's birthday tomorrow, he is in hospital - we will go over there in the afternoon, and give him his gifts and cards. My sister came round with something for him this evening. I went into Richmond and bought him the boxed 3-set of the CDs of the Lord of the Rings - film soundtrack. I have recorded it into my PC, so I can hear it too (am playing it now - some of it is very ethereal). He loved all 3 films, and is a great fan of them and the original books. Tom's late sister Alice also loved the book and the earlier radio tapes; the author, JRR Tolkien, is buried in the same graveyard, Wolvercote, in Oxford as she is. That was a real coincidence - the cemetery offered green burial - which we felt she would have wanted, and was the most suitable. We planned for her to be buried in Oxford where she had studied for 8 years, for both her degrees.

We are cooking our evening meal soon so I must stop. I hope Tom - who will be 29 tomorrow - will still be able to enjoy his birthday. He seemed more relaxed and settled once he was back at the hospital. Today I enjoyed driving through Richmond Park again - and have a set of lovely photos of the landscape when we were all walking there. The deer herds on the park hillsides make a fine sight, almost like the African plains.

Well, that's all for now. Signing off, with best regards -
Tigey.