My Son's Birthday, Mental Health - his Day in Court tomorrow, and a sad Loss

Hello...

Again a quick one... We saw Tom today, on his birthday (29th). Took over his presents which I managed to wrap and put together last night, and took him out for a walk in Richmond Park. The weather was beautiful - a quiet, sunny Autumn day, with red and yellow tints in the trees. Peace and calm - which was reflected in Tom - he was much better than when he went back into hospital yesterday morning. There was note nough time for him to open his presents today, but he saw his parcels, and opened his cards - several from us and the cat! There was a surprise one from my friend J., and my sister had brought one round. He will be home again next weekend for 3 days, and can open the presents at leisure then.

Tomorrow Tom is due to be in the local Magistrates' Court on a drunkenness charge, at 10 am. Earlier today I ironed a shirt for him, and advised him to dress as smartly as he can - but he has only 2 pairs of old shoes, and no suit or smart jacket. He won't fit into my husband's suits or shoes! (D. is smaller.) They would not expect a mentally ill, unemployed man to wear a suit anyway. Tom looks as his lifestyle suggests - also looks a bit like a student, which he still was before he went downhill. I printed off 2 advice sheets about the courts from the internet - from the BBC Law factsheets about the magistrates' court, and one from the Borough of Brent which is for youth cases, but also applies generally. Tom will have to see the Duty Solicitor as he has no outside legal representation - but his case is a simple one of public drunkenness, and he is pleading guilty, and dsiclosing his mental state in mitigation. Also this is his first time in court (but about his 5th offence of this type). I will be there, as will his Key Worker who could provide further evidence. D. (my husband) will take the car home and wait to pick us up.

I wa very worried about my "hubby" D's memory capacity today - I tried to get him a doctor's appointment - but have to wait. He cannot remember / focus on simple instructions about the shopping (even with a list), or what day it is - eg. that today is Wednesday, and Tom's birthday. He can remember road routes and is very good with his driving. He also gets very stressed about it - then I get impatient - it is so trying. He needs more help - medication or counselling. I think it's caused by stress anxiety, not by "Alzheimer's" or ageing dementia (yet he is 62 plus).

I will be very glad when Tom's court case is over - I do not think he will get any harsh punishment, and he may be let off altogether. He may get a DTTO - drug treatment and training order, or perhaps community service or a fine. We will see. May God be with him and "cover" him (with blessing) all through the proceedings.

The BBC News has said that the much loved DJ and broadcaster John Peel has died (at only 65) - I feel quite sad about this. To many he was like a friend; I often listen to his regular Saturday morning programme on BBC Radio 4, 'Home Truths'. He used to play unusual music (eg. punk) as a DJ - liked to be different. Also he was recently famous on recent TV series as a "Grumpy Old Man"! (Not so unlike D., my hubby and partner.) The next day there was masses about him in the papers - as he was a national "institution": he was loved by both rock fans (all ages) and the middle-aged "Middle British".

Added NEXT DAY: Tom had his case this morning. He was supported by his key social worker Brian, and Eddie, an elder from our church who came along unexpectedly; I was there too, and D. was the driver! He saw the Duty Solicitor, but Tom had to represent himself, and did that well - he spoke out clearly, even though it must have been an ordeal. He had talked with a real barrister in his hospital ward, a stroke of good fortune. He was advised to plead his mental disorder at the time of his offence: the court still insisted that he plead, so he pleaded guilty (he could not deny his action). He was given a conditional discharge for a year - if he offends during that time, he will be punished for this and the new offence. They did not make him pay costs as he has little income. Hopefully he will not let that happen. He is now due to go into a Rehab. in Camberwell, South London, in December. I hope that promise can be fulfilled. Back home, we had a small celebration with a piece each of Tom's birthday cake (made by sisters of our church - delicious lemon drizzle) plus tea or coffee (no alcohol of course). Ed was with us for a while, but then had to go back. In the afternoon Tom, D. and I all had a windswept walk in Richmond Park. Tom remained in good spirits after his birthday - and returned to hospital

Anyway - once again, goodbye -
Tigey.