Teaching, Criminology and Son's Mental Illness - my Vienna trip cancelled.

Hello again -

I tried writing this yesterday but lost it (a lot!) - my computer crashed (it had 2 trojans). Second time lucky!! I started teaching criminology (and pychology) again last Monday - at a local college but on behalf of Birkbeck College, London, for their extra mural courses in criminology. The class enrolled 10, one short of the target of 11. There were 8 women and only 1 man, all seeming pretty keen. That sex ratio (many women to few men) is common in social science classes. The class will continue next week; if 1 more joins it will be OK and will carry on. Am not sure if it will go ahead with just 10, especially as only 9 turned up.

At the very same time - early that evening - my son Tom again had a mental breakdown and went off to drink alone, just after I left the house for my evening class. I had only just started when I received a call from D. to say he had gone off. I could not cut the class short at that stage. I had to run it, but managed to end it 30 minutes early, by carrying on without a drinks/toilet break; I also had to explain my problem to the students briefly. I managed the teaching OK, although I was very worried. I just did what was necessary for enrolment and telling students about the course and the textbooks needed, then started off on what criminology and crime is and referring to the role and contribution of psychology.

We had a discussion towards the end, on the case of a Norfolk farmer Tony Martin who about 4 years ago shot dead a young (gypsy) burglar aged 16 who intruded into his house at night, with an older man who was wounded. The case was very controversial: many people in the UK supported Martin, who they felt was rightfully defending himself and his property. It all hinged on what was "reasonable force" to defend yourself or your property: self-defence is a legal defence, but not if you use excessive force. A warning would have been sufficient, with maybe a shot over the burglars' heads. The young boy was shot in the back as he was leaving. Marsh did appeal about his sentence; this was not cut, as he never expressed remorse about having killed the boy. Also he did not have a licence for the gun: also an offence. My students nearly all agreed with the trial jury and judge: they said Marsh had not been justified. One woman student showed some sympathy with him. He was found to have psychological problems: paranoia, and a history of childhood abuse.

I came home straight after the class, and immediately had to take over dealing with Tom being missing again. I rang the police - then they came round and said they had found a man who had collapsed in a nearby street and taken him to hospital. They soon confirmed it was Tom, so 2 hours later we drove over there, and I waited there from 11.30 pm till about 3 am: curled up trying to sleep on a 2 seater sofa! He had been very unconscious, so there was a risk he may have OD'd on other drugs. In the end he stayed there till 8 am. I came back and slept for 4 hours. We collected him and took him, still distressed, to our local mental health hospital (Richmond) where he is treated usually. They would not readmit him to the acute ward, but agreed to raise his daily medication so that he is more tranquillised. He is now starting a new programme that should help him more; his medical advisers said he risked being institutionalised if he went back into hospital as an in-patient. We could see their argument.

So Tom calmed down slightly, and went home to take further medication. He tried going to his alcohol counselling that afternoon but could not "hack it". We all went home, and I tried to catch up with some of my lost sleep. All this has not helped my own chest and sinus infections that just continue... The upshot now is that Tom is a little better again. Yesterday he still did not have much to occupy himself with, but he played our piano, which had not been used for about 5 years! He was more settled. I also managed to have my driving lesson yesterday, and did well...

Sadly, due to the recent troubles with Tom, I have had to cancel the short holiday away that I planned to take in early October - to go to Vienna on a cultural trip. There were to be city tours and musical concerts. I was there briefly last Autumn and wanted to see more of that lovely city, and felt it would be a good break. I needed to recharge my batteries! However, I can't risk being away from home for more than 1 day while Tom is so unstable. D., my husband and Tom's father, cannot cope for more than about 3 hours when Tom cracks up or goes off drinking. Yesterday I emailed and wrote to the travel firm - I was truly disappointed. I had left cancelling until it really looked as if I could not go. I will only get about one third of the money back. We have had no holiday this year at all - and I relly enjoy travelling. We have no lack of funds for any of us to go - it is just our situation, with Tom's mental illness (also our old cat is difficult to leave). If things get a bit better I may have 2-3 days away later with J. somewhere in England, but it will not be the same! In the 2 previous years I travelled far away (to India to see the jungles, tigers and culture; then to Slovakia in Eastern Europe); both trips were wonderful.

Tomorrow I hope to go - with D. - to an old University Reunion in London, at the LSE - our "alma mater" from the 1960s. He will only come too if he thinks Tom's OK enough. I am also going on the Saturday, the next day, which includes a dinner at the House of Commons. I was looking forward to it, and hope I can still make it (re. Tom's mental ill-health - and Parliament has been under attack by pro-foxhunting campaigners recently - see the News. I think they are foolish and wrong. Hunting animals for pleasure is barbaric.). I really hope D. will be able to come with me tomorrow: some of our old friends will be there (but not all of them - many have not put their names on the list). I was more sociable and part of the LSE "scene" than D. was, he says. Anyway, that is all for now. Signing off for a day or two,

All the best - Tigey.