Trouble in the Mental Health Ward, and a visit home

Hi - if you are reading this. An update on the recent story of my son's breakdown and how we're coping...

My own health is a little beter now, and I am since yesterday on antibiotics for my chest infection, and my eczema has gone down. All this resulted from the stress I've had over my son's breakdown and alcoholic binge. He is now, after 5 days, doing a detox in the local Mental Health Ward at Roehampton Hospital. Today we went over to the hospital in mid-morning, before official visiting hours, to take Tom his CD player and several CDs (Christian and rock music, plus some classical), plus more tapes for the old Walkman cassette player we took for his yesterday. This all helps him to feel more at home in there, and gives him something to do and relax by.

I even drove the car for most of the journey over, although I could not do the difficult hill start on Richmond Hill, near the park. After struggling and making a horrible smell from the car, I had to hand over to Dave. (I am learning to drive, after a gap of 30 years.) Then I drove through the park at 20 mph, as the law requires. This gives one the chance to take in the lovely open scenery, with occasional herds of deer. But there are always another 2 drivers up one's backside. These types don't care about the speed limit. The Park is used by many as a rat-run.

We handed in the items to a nurse at the hospital and drove home. Then I went into Richmond to get my photos, still waiting at the shop, Jessops, for over a week, and also a CD of them. I had to buy 42 small dessert puddings for the Agape meal tonight (at my church). I also bought Tom some cheap CDs with a gift voucher plus another £10 - 3 of J.S. Bach's music (various compositions) and the soundtrack selections from "The Lord of the Rings" movie - not the really good one, but a cover version (good enough for in hospital). Tom already had his guitar and church songbook, so has plenty of musical entertainment and distractions.

On the way home by bus I could not get an answer from Dave (twice) on my mobile phone. When I came in, I saw a note saying he had just gone back to get Tom!! I thought Tom had discharged himself, as he's in as "voluntary" status. But it turned out that Tom was desperate for a change of scene - had been "climbing the walls" and shouting with frustration at being so confined, and had eventually been allowed home for a few hours. This brought him some relief. He had to be back in there by 5 pm for his detox medication, so Dave drove him back again. Apart from his compulsions and tendency to drink, Tom is relatively lucid - he is not so "mad" as some people in there, and these others had been getting on his nerves. There had been a violent scene with another patient yesterday. Someone once said "Hell is other people"! Ther is also the lack of privacy and the fact that one cannot get out of the ward unless you have permission to go out at set times. I think now they will allow this for Tom. We hope he can come home tomorrow too for a few hours. It just gives him some space.

Tonight I have to go to Agape by train and then a bit of a walk to the church house, with my 42 sweet desserts and something for the kids. I shall somehow manage to carry it there - just hope it does not rain. I hope they can arrange for other "brothers" and maybe "sisters" to go and visit Tom. That would please him and make him feel valued and loved. He needs spiritual ministry which he can only get in small doses from me: I did pray with him yesterday. The church people have offered, but they need to organise it.

That's it for now - I have to have a good old English cup of tea (a "cuppa" - if you, any reader of this, are not British, you may know that we Brits depend on our twice daily fix of mild caffeine in tea) before I get ready to go. It is just as well - very convenient for us - that Dave is retired, so hs the spare time to do all this driving about - he's been very good. He is just back this minute. So I am signing off now. Please wish us well and if you believe in God, do pray for Tom to find healing and peace.

Thanks again - all best wishes,

Tigey.