Second hospitalisation - after tricky weekend

Well, hello again -

This is stage two of Tom's hospital treatment. I did not blog over the weekend as we had him home for two days and I was kept busy. He was let out of the acute Psychiatric Ward on Friday evening, and seemed well enough to come home, though his medication was still continuing - but he felt nervous. Then the next day, he got rather jumpy in the morning and needed his medication early. He tried to go back to an AA meeting, thinking this was the best thing - to get back into his might "have a go" at him for that week-long drinking spree.

We did not expect him back for 2-3 hours; however, he rerturned on his bike within 40 minutes. He was furious - hopping mad with anger. A member there had said "You only had to say the 'prayer for sobriety' and you would not have picked up a drink." Another said "just focus on not drinking..." This he did not wish to hear - he called them all sorts of names, "AA Nazis" - he had F-ed and blinded, swearing at them all - then stormed out. Later he admitted that this was unbalanced behaviour. They had meant well. But at present he feels his deep, underlying psychiatric issues come first and should be addressed - it is these that make him drink. He also has worries about managing his money more responsibly. Anyway we managed to calm him down, he went quiet and I gave him a cooked lunch.

Shortly afterwards (in the mid-afternoon) I went out to visit my friend J., near Richmond Park and Kingston Hospital. Just before then, Tom was getting fairly agitated; I gave him another of his chlorodiazepoxide tablets, hoping this would sedate him. Then I left. I was at my friend's for only 2 hours, and had not eaten, when the phone rang - it was husband Dave (he had already tried my mobile, when J. and I were walking her "cared for" or friend's dog in Richmond Park) - saying Tom was really agitated and unwell: he could not cope with him. I suggested they came straight over, and we took him to Kingston Hospital. From my friend's, I rang the Pagoda Ward where Tom had been. They said he had to be seen and admitted by a doctor at the hospital. So we went along - my evening with J. was cut short - and we waited nearly 2 hours. At nearly 10 pm Tom was seen by a pleasant young woman doctor who clearly thought he was ill enough to be readmitted. However, there was no place for him then - we were told the earliest anything could happen was Monday - we would hear from the Pagoda Ward or Richmond Hospital then. So once again we just had to hang on in there, with a mentally sick young man in tow.

Tom had by then calmed down a bit; we went home resigned to having to wait till Monday. As the next day was Sunday, Tom and I decided it was best to go to our Christian Church (the MJA) which has a whole day of Sunday meetings in London, with fellowship and lunch in between at the church house. He had been missing the church while in hospital, though 2 brothers had kindly visited him. I thought this may keep him settled and restore him somwhat, especially spiritually. He was rather tense on the way up there by train, but once we arrived outside the meeting place in Covent Garden, two brothers saw Tom and gave him a big hug. Tom was lifted up by this response - other brothers came up and greeted him, slapped him on the back, or hugged him. Sisters too showed their concern, and several of them comforted me. I had restorative prayer from my good friend Sue W. Early on in the service I began to cry quietly during a powerful traditional hymn - a release of tension. The words and their spiritual strength cut through to my heart. Tom was getting into the spirituality of the meeting - the pastoral word emphasised Christian healing and the power of prayer. This was good for Tom. During the other songs he was joining in with gusto later on. I began to feel stronger myself - it was so good to be there. God Bless the Jesus Fellowship (London) - aka Battle Centre and Spreading Flame. Our Pastor, Steve C., had also recently been ill with angina and arthritis; he too needed prayer, even as he conducted the meeting. (By the way, there was a TV documentary about our Jesus Army/Fellowship church on UK TV Channel 4 called "Battlecentre" - director: Leo Regan - out in 2003. Look out for it! It gets repeated sometimes. It was nominated for an award.)

Tom was all right for all the Sunday - the church and the brethren saw him thorugh. In the afternoon he was "fellowshipping" eiwitht he brothers, it was a young brother's 21st birthday and people were all singing and encouraging him. Then Tom and two other bros. sat in the brothers' lounge and sang songs to the guitar, which he played. (I visited one sister, A., to see her showpiece of a garden, then had a rest.) He came to the evening meeting, and again was boosted up by the worship and the prayer he received from various brothers. During some songs he was even dancing with joy - quite his old self for a few hours; he also did his litter clearance Deacon''s job at the end. I was given very powerful prayer by 3 of the sisters - K, S. and R. They truly got through - they could see how broken I was. I felt better for it. Again the meeting emphasised prayer and healing - just right for Tom. (It could have been much more "sharp and cutting" - but we were not castigated for our sins that day!) Tom told me that perhaps God meant him to be there, so delayed his readmission to hospital. Older sister D. kindly drove us home, to give Dave a break.

Monday, today:- Tom woke up again - much worse again. His jitters and shakes had come back, and then he began pacing up and down the floor, like a caged lion. Yesterday had been a brief respite. Instead of waiting for the hospital to call us, I got on the phone by 9.30 am. I chased up our local Richmond Hospital and Pagoda Ward until we had a promise that the Pagoda Ward would readmit Tom at 2 pm today. I had one left of his tranquillisers, so gave it to him. After the news of his readmission, he did calm down a bit; then I went out with him for a 40 minute walk in a local park near here. It was very showery and the grass, trees etc. were very fresh. We saw baby ducklings on the small River Crane, and ripening red rosehips in the hedge along the lane. Some of this walk is rather secluded -I would not go along there late at night, as now there is a suspected serial killer on the loose in our area (Twickenham, West London - the 2nd victim, to hammer blows on the head, was found last Friday evening, on Twickenham Green). We got back, I helped him repack his things - then waited and cooked him a decent lunch. At 1.30 pm we set off in the car. I decided I would have another go at driving on the way back through Richmond Park, and over Richmond Bridge.

2.00 pm - we drove back at Pagoda Ward. There was a 2 hour delay while they did the paperwork and then interviewed us again. Meanwhile the other patients were very glad to see Tom again. One said "Hello, Christian Boy!" A young guy returned to him a Beatles CD he had borrowed. The nice Christian lady (a former lay reader) made us a cup of tea and gave us cakes. I chatted with the patients - some of them asked what I did, and when I said "criminology lecturer" they were slightly gobsmacked, but interested. We were sitting with the "newspaper reading group", and got on to discussing the "Twickenham "serial killer". We saw the pleasant West Indian ward supervisor again, and impressed on him that Tom is having severe mood swings. He pointed out that Tom showed signs of hearing voices telling him to do things - like walking away from the group (on an excursion). Could he be a bit schizoid? We will have to await further examination. The ward staff will now be more careful over letting him come home (too soon) - he may be allowed out again for short outings. Probably he is in there for another 5-7 days, and his medication period will be extended. We want them to look into his doing a "Rehab" as an alternative to AA.

Tonight I am going to the Family Support Group at Richmond Hospital. It is good - you sit in a group and discuss your dependant (substance abuser) with 2 psychological workers and the other parents. I feel I get some support from that. Dave and I will eat a quick supper after that; meanwhile, Dave is watching the Olympics on TV, as he likes athletics. That is all for now - just picking up the pieces yet again! My own health is still a bit ropey, and I have a driving lesson tomorrow. (I did the drive home OK - managed a difficult turn on Richmond Hill, and going over Richmond bridge, then the local traffic lights. Good practice before seeing my instructor.) I did write a long letter to our MP, and delivered it last Saturday morning - I wonder if that will bring some results - ie. swifter psychiatric treatment for Tom.

Cheerio for now - with some relief after all this!

Love, Tigey.