London: lunch at Waterstones & Tom "better"

Hi peeps -

Well things are settling down a bit, re. my only son Tom (28). He is coming out of the local mental health acute ward tomorrow evening, and we are now faced with trying to get him more intensive, in-depth treatment for his underlying psychological problems, that lead to him drinking and bingeing alcohol to extreme excess. My husband took him out for a drive and short walk in Richmond Park this afternoon - I did not see him, as I was going to fulfil a longstanding date with an old friend (female) in Central London - to have lunch with her at Waterstone's bookshop in Picadilly. It was her birthday recently, and I had a present for her.

I did not feel so well this morning - I am having treatment for a chest infection, which is only very slowly clearing up. I felt slightly depressed today after all that has been going on. (And last night our food freezer played up and some of the food had gone off!) But I made the effort, and dressed myself more smartly - in my "new" outfit for events earlier this summer (I've worn it to a family christening, to give a summer lecture on Criminology for Birkbeck College, and to my old school reunion). My hair is not now up to much (but I am not grey!), as the style has grown out and it needs cutting again - but I put on make up, tights and sandals, the new 1960s-style floral skirt and cream lycra top from "Next", and set out for the train.

My presents for A. were a jar of French mustard (she is Belgian), some gift tokens, a decorative tile and a "speaking" IT clock. I was also lending her a magazine on crime and passing on a black patent leather evening clutch bag I no longer use (have had it since 1970s). She also had some gifts for me, as she had not seen me on my birthday at the end of May. She lives in North London, quite far from me. She gave me a holdall and a white sleeveless fleece from a market where she had been travelling, plus a card with 2 cats (with real bells on their collars!). We had a glass of wine (her) and an Indian Tiger beer (me). Waterstones is always a pleasant venue - you can browse around the book shelves when you go in, and look at the summer offers - 3 for 2! I bought 3 on the way out. My brother in law G. works for them as a manager at their Kingston, Surrey, branch - they supply many of the books for university courses: his branch serves Kingston Uni.

The restaurant is light, modern and airy, on the 5th floor of the Picadilly Waterstones. From there you can look out over the London skyline, or part of it, and see the post Office Tower. It's very central. The mid-day menu is limited to a few salad lunches, some of which are quite minimal - so I chose a "beef sandwich" which was lots of sliced beef on a flat slice of brown bread with horseradish sauce, and crispy onion rings, plus curly lettuce. A. had a prawn cocktail which would not have filled me up! I paid for the drinks plus my own meal - she was a bit broke. A. looked gorgeous as ever - she is 10 years younger than me - and is slim (perhaps her smoking helps there) and well made up, with a good hair cut. She is a former mature student of mine, from the year 2000 when my daughter Alice died - she returned to my criminology course the following year,a nd we made friends - it turned out she too had a family tragedy (I won't give details). Her parents still live in Belgium, and she has friends in London, where she has lived for over 20 years. The tragedies (mine was losing my daughter, Alice) gave us a bond. She is an interesting person, with a Belgian law degree, and works freelance as a legal translater in London court cases (eg. when there is a foreign person accused, who speaks Dutch, French, German, Italian or Flemish). I don't think she knows Arabic or some of the languages that may be required now - eg. for the terrorism trials.

We had a long lunch and chatted about various things. She was saying that I should really push for Tom to have mental health treatment at the hospital where that is provided, or go to somewhere like The Priory. J., my other close female friend, was saying "go to 'The Priory'". After all, Tom is all the children we have got! Our GP (doctor) told us that this is not worth it - you can get just as good a job on the NHS, but you often have to wait. Today they said that Tom must go for 6 months without drinking before the NHS will admit him. That may well be impossible for him. The Priory costs its patients about £300 a week (maybe more?). We could afford it for a while from savings - but would that be worth the money? It's such a difficult dilemma. I guess we could send for their brochure. Oddly, The Priory was very near where Tom has been under the NHS for his detox - it is also in Roehampton.

When we had at last finished lunch, we hugged and said goodbye. I came downstairs to buy 3 bargain books. One was a children's fantasy story about a very adventurous "Mesopotamian Blue" cat, called Varjak Paw; it may be a bit similar to The Wild Roads and The Golden Cat, by a different author. The hero cat has all sorts of adventures. The others were two books about India, one by William Dalrymple (City of Djinns - on Delhi, and the other by Mark Tully, the BBC's former India correspondent (for radio and TV). I love the culture of India, ever since I went there for 2 weeks in November, 2002. I sometimes give talks to local groups on that amazing visit (to Madhya Pradesh - the central area), and really desire to return some time. I would really like to read more about it - I got a lot fo knowledge at first from the Lonely Planet and Rough Guides to India. On my way home, at the tube station, I saw an older man collecting money for tigers and other big cats - I gave him a £1, and said I had been to two tiger reserves in M. Pradesh. He was quite surprised - this was meant to happen! I took a leaflet from him about the Cat Survival Trust, of which I have heard.

Back home, I had a cup of tea, emptied the dustbins and and waited for Dave, my husband, to get home from seeing Tom. It never rained while I was out - amazing, after the bad forecasts (I took a raincoat for nothing). That is all for today - I enjoyed getting away from home and our problems for a while.

Best wishes to you all... Thanks for reading, if you have been -

Love, Tigey